Method #8: Kegel Excercises

This is another way of saying penis excercises, believe it or not. It's a matter of isolating and contracting the area as hard as you can, releasing, and gradually increasing how long you hold it, how many sets you do, etc. I'm just glad no doctors recommend lifting dumbells with it because I've seen that on the internet, and looks like no picnic.

I tried a few kegel excercises. I put a little headband around him and gave him the workout of a liftetime. It was like a Kegel Ironman. Poor fella was panting and sweating his poor purple head off. It was after doing this that I read that overstraining yourself can actually make the problem worse. Shit.

One article I read said that you can do these excercises anywhere: at your desk, in your car during stoplights. Come on! I'm not doing that in public . . . So, I did a few "reps" in the car the other day, and I think I'm gaining some peen strength. I just wonder if other motorists could see my faces. They probably thought I was taking a dump. I would be impressed if they ascertained that I was excercising my dong.

Well, much like everything else that I've tried, it didn't work. I'm still lousy in bed these days.

I honestly think it's just stress, anxiety, and worrying about it that is causing the problem. I'm focusing on it too much, as evidenced by the fact that I've started up a blog about it. How do I not focus on it? It's totally emasculating and scary as hell. I'm getting stressed out, and I just don't want to think about it anymore. I'm going to work out my penis and go to bed.

Method #7: Stay in There

Have you ever tried to stop yourself by suddenly pulling out? Don't do that. You may be able to stop yourself, but you'll only annoy your partner, who wants you to remain inserted so that she continues to feel good. Plus, all that stopping and starting will make her anxious. Besides, if you mess up and finish, at least you do it inside her and not all over the sheets.

I got one all over the sheets today, and she was really pissed. She maintains that she doesn't care if I go quick, but spunking on the linens really ticks her off. She was upset, I was feeling shitty about myself with this stupid problem of mine, especially because I swear I used to have unbelievable control (pathetic that I have to keep mentioning that), and we were both quiet for an uncomfortable few hours. She told me that she estimates that I've been having this problem for about the last six months of our one year relationship. I had no idea it has been going on that long, which made me feel even crappier.

We then had a great night out, came home drunk, and I was a sexual dynamo. I really hope to find more viable options with these 101 blogs than getting drunk because I think in the grand scheme of things I'd rather be a premature ejaculator than a full blown alcoholic.

Method #6: Clear the Air

I mentioned in my last post that another secret to a recent good performance was clearing the air, and I believe this to be 100% true. Sex problems in relationships often stem from intimacy problems, which stem from a division between the couple.

My girl and I went out for sushi, and we had a big fight about a big topic. It's something that is so big that it's always going to be a problem between us; it's just a matter of how often it comes up. Things looked pretty bad, but I laid it on the line for her over a long drive in an open, vulnerable, but somehow ballsy way. It's very hard to describe without giving details of the conversation, but I want to leave that sort of stuff out of thing blog. In any case, she cried, and I damn near did, too.

We both felt like there was a huge wall between us knocked down, and we had really intimate, beautiful sex, really connecting like never before- certainly in a way we haven't done it in months. Afterwards, we were both giddy and almost high.

You have to break down those walls, people.

Then again, a few nights later, I had one pretty good performance and one downright lousy one. Either it was just the wine that made me good, I have all new barriers to break down, or I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Method #5: Drink a Bottle of Wine

I had the performance of a lifetime the other night. Two rounds on a Monday night, and we were talking dirty to one another in all kinds of positions, and both totally into it. It made me discover a few tricks of the trade: Clear the Air With Your Partner, Realize You Are in Love Again, Relax, and, what we will deal with in this entry: Drink a Bottle of Wine.

Walking that fine line of relaxing yourself with some booze to last longer, and going way past that and right into whiskey dick is a slippery slope, indeed. Try drinking something that you know doesn't get away from you, a drink where you feel cool and in control. Some can drink real slow on a stiff drink and act suave and sophisticated all night. Some have trouble with hard liquor and opt to stick to beer. That's fine, but watch out for bloating cause a bloated guy is no good in the sack (this sounds like a Men's Health article all of a sudden). Me, I like to stick to wine. If I switch to anything else, the night can get ugly in a hurry, but when the lady and I drink wine, I'm cool, relaxed, somehow smarter, and on Monday, a sexual dynamo. Sorry, but I have to bask in it a bit after a slump like I had.

When you have sex with a moderate buzz on, you can concentrate on just feeling good, doing and saying whatever feels right, without your brain thinking too much about if you're going to cum and how to stop it. But, again, there's that perfect amount.

I recommend, if you think you're going to get down that evening, going with one bottle of wine, or whatever you can handle less than that. Just wine, no other kinds of booze, and no more than one bottle. Do I sound like a drunk when I recommend people drink a bottle of wine on a Monday night and have sex all night? Well, this is an anonymous blog so I can recommend anything I like. Hell, a bottle of wine and sex have been great fun for hundreds of years, and I'll shout that from the highest mountain tops. Heck, I'll do both on those mountain tops, and . . . Okay, you get the idea.